It’s that time of year again, you know, when the kids will be out of school, family members are singing and laughing, the stores are bustling with happy shoppers and you are filled with peace and joy. The perfect snow fall shows up, everything is moving with ease and grace and stress and anxiety flow through like snowflakes melting on your tongue.
Do you know that story?
How about this one?….. The kids are out of school, I still have to work, what will I do with them, I can’t afford gifts for everyone and they don’t appreciate what I get them anyway. Traffic is crazy, people are rude and checkout lines are slow, the weather is dreary and cold and no matter how hard I try I know I won’t get everything done. This time of year is stressful and I don’t really like it very much.
These two stories feel very different from each other. I am certain there are people telling stories like these. Some are attached to a happy positive story and others are attached to something less.
Over the next few months you will be hearing about Byron Katie who woke up one morning in 1986 to discover that her only problem was that she was attached to the story of all the things that appeared to be wrong with her life. She discovered the power of internal inquiry and asked over and over about the truth of these negative stories only to find out that………
“behind every uncomfortable feeling there’s a thought that isn’t true for us”
“a thought is harmless unless we believe it. It is not our thoughts but the attachment to our thoughts that causes us suffering.”
“your uninvestigated thinking is the problem not the object of your thoughts”
As I work with people through my practice I have discovered that our subconscious mind is filled with thoughts that cause us to suffer. Many of these thoughts we received as direct training or as examples of the way to live from our well meaning care givers. As they are attached to negative thoughts they pass them along to us just as they were passed on to them by their parents and other role models. It turns out that this is no one’s fault and it is not your fault either. You may be the parent passing your parents ideas about life on to your children. Guess what, it’s not your fault. You are doing the best you know how given the training you received as a child.
How many times have you said to yourself; “I will never speak to my kids the way my (mother/father) spoke to me”, only to hear yourself do just that? It’s part of our training and no matter how hard we try to be different, without taking responsibility, doing some energy work or practicing Byron Katie’s “The Work” (www.thework.com) you may find it very difficult to find peace and joy.
When we argue with what is we create turmoil inside of us. When something happens that we don’t like yet we have no control over it (war, corporate greed, oil spills, weather events) we have an opportunity to recognize this thought….”I don’t like this” and let it go.
Finding peace within is a journey not a destination. A happy life is made up of a life time of happy moments not something that suddenly shows up after retirement.
I encourage you, during this holiday season, to notice your feelings and if they cause you stress to let go of them and discover the peace within. Everything I want lives within my heart and everything you want lives within yours. Be selfish, love yourself more and more each day. As you do, that love will fill you up and spill out all over the place encompassing all that is around you. If someone else is causing you a problem remember that you project that which resides within you. Clean up your own stuff and others will be cleansed.
I wish you joy beyond all understanding. It has been my pleasure to share with you in 2013. I am your humble servant.