Is life going on without you? Do you have ideas and desires you would like to implement in your life but can’t seem to get them done? Do you procrastinate, put things off, compare yourself to others, feel frustrated and lack motivation?

You are stuck! and it doesn’t feel good, and you haven’t yet been able to change it.

Have you ever noticed that when you feel stuck you resist allowing yourself to feel better? It seems that everyone, at some time or another, goes through a feeling of frustration. Here’s an example.

A good friend of mine was late leaving for work this morning. This meant a later, more crowded, bus and the possibility of arriving late to work because of heavier than usual traffic. She texted me and vented about “how frustrated she was, how hot and sticky the bus was, there was no place to sit down, can’t even find space to get my book out to read and the traffic is slow and I might be late for work!!”

As I was not in the same emotional space that she was at the time, I text back, “love everyone around you, look for the gift in the frustration and tap on how stressed you feel”. In my calm emotional space this feels rational but at the time this “advice” was a source of frustration for her and the reply was “I am not feeling it”.

In the first place, when you are not in someone else’s emotional space it is easy to give advice. When you are frustrated you are not so ready to receive that advice no matter how well meaning it may be.

What’s really going on here? I believe that when we feel bad about anything at all it comes from fear. Fear that we are not good enough, that others will be mad at us, that we don’t deserve to be happy, and on and on. Because we feel bad we then increase our fear. This sends a cascade of brain chemicals that contribute to our negative feelings. Cortisol and Adrenaline, among others, course through our bodies and add to the negative feelings we are already feeling. This reduces our ability to think clearly. The more we focus on these feelings the more they persist. This could be a simple, momentary problem, like my friend on the bus or it could relate to being stuck with long term negative feelings about something or someone.

What to do about it> It is useful to know in advance that you can get in to these feelings at some point and make a plan to implement when the feelings arise. It is also useful to begin your practice long before these issues show up. You will discover that they simply may not show up.

When we forget to plan or practice in advance there are a number of tools we can apply in the moment. The first thing is to notice that you are feeling stuck. We always have a choice! Remember that you have a choice in this very moment!This is the moment of potential relief or continued frustration. Many times we notice feeling stuck but, like my friend above, don’t want to get out of it even though it doesn’t feel good to us. Make the choice to move toward happiness rather than away from it.

These are just a few ideas that may help you overcome what is bothering you. They can be applied to momentary problems or “feeling stuck” with bigger issues.

Remember, only you can change the way you feel and there is no better time than right now to feel better than you did a moment before.

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